How do I do on communication??????

  

How do I do on communication??????

This week I took 3 different communication assessments, Communication Anxiety Inventory, Verbal Aggressiveness Scale, and Listening Styles Profile.  I also had my husband; Kelly and a coworker; Emily take the assessments on my behalf as well. 

The only real similarity between all three of us was that we scored me in group one on the listening styles.  The differences were the range of scores on the other two tests.  On the verbal scale I scored myself higher than Kelly and Emily did.  The verbal test is the one that surprised me the most.  I don’t feel that I am that aggressive verbally.  I tend more to back down instead on standing up to fight.   I attributed the differences in scores on the communication anxiety to the fact that Emily does not know me as well and nether one of them knows what I am physically experiencing. 

Insights to communication this week

I don’t really see this as an insight but more of a confirmation of how the media influences our self- concept.  The images that are projected through the media are pretty far off from reality.  I can only assume that visitors or immigrants from other countries gain a large shock when they actually meet us.  All women in the US are not 6’7 white, with long legs, fit body and beautifully flowing hair.   I can use this information to work with the students in my care.  I can show them that we are all different and beautiful in our own way.    We don’t have to conform to the Medias perceptions of us.  In order to teach this I have to accept that I don’t meet the Medias criteria and that is OK.

Assessing our self-perceptions is a continual process.  We are constantly assessing our abilities whether they are our strengths or weaknesses.  This is not always a cognitive process but just something we do.

My Communication

In preparation for this assignment this week I paid more attention to the interaction between myself and others at work.  In working in a public school you have a huge mixing pot of different backgrounds to interact with.  I paid particular attention to my conversations with other whose culture was different than mine.  I noticed that my communication with them was somewhat different when talking or interacting with them. 

Different religious groups-I noticed that I stayed away from topics that I thought might offend them.  I didn’t share my personal views unless I was sure that we shared the same ones. 

Age- I work with individuals who are older and younger than me.  When talking with those younger I try to remember what it was like to be that same age but since we live in different times it can be difficult.  When talking with those who are older and more experienced than I am, I try to listen to what they can teach me. 

Authority- I notice that when talking with my supervisors that I was more to the point.  I did not make as many jokes or sarcastic comments.  My body language was less relaxed and tenser. 

Based on what I have learned this week I thought of some strategies that could help me communicate more effectively with the people I work with.

1.  When talking to people whose age is different than mine I will respect their life walk and listen to their stories.  I will sincere when listening and offer advice only when asked.

2.  When talking to people in authority positions I should treat them with the respect that they have earned due to their position and education but respect as a person as well.

3.  When talking with individuals whose religious backgrounds are different I should accept their beliefs.  I may not share the same beliefs but I should respect their beliefs.  I will try to avoid stereotypes about their religion as well.

TV relationships

The show that I watched was an episode of Scooby Doo with my son.  The characters in the show are two boys, two girls, and a dog. 

I thought from watching that the characters were a group of friends who were traveling in a van.  One of the boys seemed to be in a romantic relationship with one of the girls.  Their body language was that of a couple.  They sat close to each other in van and would look at each other more than they did the other two.  The other girl who was not as stylish as the other seemed to be on the outside of the group.  She would stand farther part that the others and did most of the talking.  The tall skinny boy must have been the dog’s owner.  He would hang with the dog and they both ate a lot.

The feelings that I observed are rejection from the one girl who is apart from the group.  I also see the “couple” as happy and affectionate towards each other.  They touch each other more frequently.  The tall skinny boy is a loner with his dog and oblivious to what is going on around them. 

When I turned the sound on and re-watched the show I was able to check my observations.  The assumption that I made about the characters were similar to the true relationship.  They were a group of friends who traveled around in their van.  The two (Fred and Daphne) that I thought might be a couple were not.  The girl (Velma) who stood apart from the group turned out to be the leader of the group.  Tall skinny boy (Shaggy) and his dog Scooby were best friends who did like to eat a lot.  They would get into more trouble by trying to stay out of it. 

My assumptions would have been more correct with a show I know well because I already know the background information on the show. 

What I learned was that background knowledge is better than basic assumptions.  We need to know more about a situation before we make a judgment on a situation or relationship.  I have also learned that body movement is a huge part of our communication.  People can’t seem to talk without their hands or movement. 

My communication model

The person in my life that demonstrates competent communication is my Mother.  She was the Dean of Students for one of the local high schools where I first taught.

The behaviors that my mother exhibited when she was in the Dean’s Office at a local high school were; calm, unemotional, attentive, and caring.  She worked with students who got in trouble for various reasons; tardy, ditching class, behavior issues, etc.  When working with students who were lying to her she would look at them straight in the face, emotionless, and listen to their stories.  They thought since she did not respond she must believe them.  She would also take under her wing students who needed a little extra support and “mother” them if they needed.  I can’t count how many times she wanted to bring them home and care for them.  I guess that is where I get it from.  Every year I find at least one student who I am totally convinced that I could do a better job than their parents. 

My mother would talk to each student whom she saw in a professional manner but yet still maintained an appropriate level of control.  She let them know through the tone in her voice, and body position that she was the controlling party in this situation.  She would let them tell their side of the story and walk them through their decisions whether they were right or wrong.  She would also help them to plan out a better plan of behavior.   I want to model my interactions with students after hers.  She had a very good report with the students that she worked with and made a difference in many of their lives.  

Professional Hopes and Goals

Professional Hopes and Goals

This course may be over but the lessons never are.  The lessons we have learned will be taken out into the world and understanding and social justice will be continued on through our work.  We are the examples and we must spread the word to others. 

One hope that I have for all children and families that come into my care is that they feel safe, welcome, and valued.  I also hope that we will all learn from each other.  I never want anyone to feel left out or unvalued.

The goal that I set for the early childhood field is that all children are taught to respect other for their differences.  It is also important that the children will take the opportunity to learn from each other.  If a seed of understanding and compassion can be planted in one child then our work will continue. 

Colleagues and friends- I want to thank you for all your support through this class.  I feel that we have grown together, cried with each other, and supported on another through the tough times.  Only through this type of bond could we bare our hearts without fear of ridicule.  

Welcoming Families From Around the World

Welcoming Families From Around the World

My new family is arriving from Russia and will be starting school next week.   In order to prepare for their arrival I have done some research.  I will try to make this transition as easy as possible.  I hope that through preparation and research the family will feel more comfortable and that they fit in with the school setting.  I have listed five ways that I will prepare.

First-I have labeled items in the classroom in their home language.  This will help them to find the items and rooms that they need.  This way the family can teach us new words while they are learning new words.

Second- I would plan a “share your culture” day.  All the families could participate in this so no one feels put on the spot.  I would also ask if they would like to come and share something from their culture.

Third- find out who in the family I should consult in education and health matters.  I want to make sure that I don’t offend the family by speaking to the wrong family member. 

Fourth- find out what experience they have had with public education.  If they have had little experience with public schooling develop a plan to slowly introduce them to the process.

Fifth- develop a plan to address issues of differences and avoid discrimination behaviors.

You can't have money because .....

One experience that I remember experiencing prejudice was when I first started college after high school.  I was registering for financial aid and waiting for the results.  I met with the financial aid officer and she told me that I did not qualify for much in the way of financial help.  She told me it was because I was white.  She said if I came back and was Native American, Black, or Hispanic she could help me. 

I was completely floored.  I could not believe that she just came right out and said that.  I know many people thought like that but never would say it out loud.  She was say that because I was white I did not need any help financially for school.  My parents had two children in college and one more on the way.  My parents were both teachers, we had no money.   I was upset and depressed because I would not be able to attend college at that time.  I was stuck in a minimum wage food service job that did not pay enough for me to even attend the community college. 

In this situation the financial aid system needs to change.  The need for help should be based not on race but on an individual needs assessment.  We fill them out every year, it is called the FASFA.  The financial aid system needs to look more closely at your ability to pay for school.