Saturday, February 4, 2012

It's the Parents fault- It's the Schools fault

Conflict Resolution

The conflict I chose to discuss was a situation with a parent and their child and the school personnel.  The child, who we will call L, is in constant trouble.  She has more energy than five children put together and has little to no impulse control.  With that said she can get herself into a large amount of trouble by not following the rules.  She has maxed out her chances with the schools discipline policy.  When her parents were confronted about her behavior they were upset with the school and teacher.  The parents feel that their daughter is just the average everyday child who knows her limits and boundaries.  The parents refuse to see the schools sides or take any steps to help their daughter in school. 

The first step that needs to be taken is opening the lines of communication between the school personnel and the parents.  A meeting will all parties involved needs to happen in order to help L.   In this meeting it is important to remember to attack the problem not the individuals (http://www.crnhq.org).  Also during this meeting each side needs to listen to the other.  The school personnel need to put themselves in the shoes of the parents and vice versa.  When each side has the perspective of the other then real communication can take place.  While each side is speaking the listener needs to go through these steps as laid out by the Conflict Resolution Network (http://www.crnhq.org):
  • DON'T DEFEND yourself at this point. It will inflame them further.
  • DEAL FIRST WITH THEIR EMOTIONS - People shout because they don't think they are being heard. Make sure they know they are - that you are hearing how angry or upset they are. Label accurately the emotions/feelings as you perceive them.
  • ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR SIDE - This does not mean you agree with them, only that you are registering their viewpoint e.g. "I can see, if you think that was my attitude, why you are so angry", "I can see why the problem makes you so upset"
Once those steps have been taken moving towards options for change or a solution can start.  The team needs to work together to come up with a workable solution or plan.


Reference
Conflict Resolution Network.  (n.d.)  Retrieved from http://www.crnhq.org.

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2 comments:

  1. LavondaFebruary 4, 2012 at 9:03 PM

    Leslie,

    Great post.....It is hard for parents to realize that their child may be hard to handle especially in the school setting. I think that there is lack of commu ication and that trying to sit down with the parents would be a great idea to get on one track.

    ReplyDelete
  2. TamaraFebruary 5, 2012 at 7:42 AM

    Leslie,
    A good example to use conflict resolution skills. Obviously, the parents have one perspective and the school another. It's hard not to get defensive when dealing with conflict. Making sure the other person is heard is important.
    Tamara

    ReplyDelete

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Personal Childhood Web

Mom-My mother
Influence: showed me a love of learning that has lasted a life time. She would have “Tea Parties” with me but insisted on real food not pretend. She would read to us each night and tuck us in. She showed her love and affection by being there and showing me how to make it on my own. Her impact on my life is ongoing. She is still guiding me to be a better and stronger person.

Dad: My birth father
Influence: taught me that continuing your education may be tough but is always worth the effort. He would take me on camping trips each summer and road trips to historical places. He always called me “sis”. His influence takes me to historical sites. I have an appetite for history.

Don: My step-dad (Dad)
Influence: taught me that hard work was important in life. He taught me how to drive my first stick shift. He moved me back and forth to college many times without question. He considered me his own and became my father when mine abandoned me. He still checks in on me and makes sure my head is on straight.

Grandma D: Paternal Grandmother
Influence: she taught me how to be a “proper” young lady. I remember how I should behave to this day. She showed me how to make ordinary everyday things into magical paths to the imaginary world. A refrigerator box could be a house, doctor’s office, fort, or a cave below hundreds of feet. She showed me how to cook and sew so I could be a good wife. Though she is not with me now I still can look at a plain item and imagine where it could lead me.

Grandma Z: Maternal Grandmother
Influence: taught me that women could be fierce and independent. She loved flowers and taught me a love of them as well.