Farewell and good luck

Beginnings are scary, middles are stressful, and endings are sad. 

Throughout this course I have learned that gal pals lying on the bed, feet in the air talking on the phone for three hours over nothing is not truly communication.  In order to have good communication individuals have to listen to each other, understand the emotions that are behind the words, and work through misunderstandings that can occur.  I have been armed with skills that will help me to develop relationships with parents even though we may not see eye to eye on things.  I have also learned that team work and collaboration is not just a group of people who are grouped together.  Collaboration and team work involves trust, commitment to the goals, and working through everyone’s personal agendas in order to work as a strong committed team.

At the beginning of this journey we discussed how we would support each other through the tough times and the good times.   I feel that we have done just that, we have all given words of encouragement while we shared parts of our lives that are sensitive and personal.  Though we have never met face to face we have developed a trust during this time.  We have gone through the trust stage of group development (Learning Center, 2011).  It is now time to say farewell.  I don’t believe in good byes but “see you later”.   I wish everyone a safe and exciting journey as we head into the next stage of our journey.  I would feel honored to have anyone of you as a colleague. 

Resources

Learning Center. (2011). How to build a team using vision, commitment, and trust. Retrieved from http://www.learningcenter.net/library/building.shtml

Adjournment- Beginnings are scary and goodbyes are sad

The hardest group to leave for me was the Bible study group I was involved in during my first teaching assignment.  This group consisted of a group of teachers whom I worked with.  We would meet each week for our study.  We had to have strong trust as we shared deep personal issues.  We all knew that we could count on each other no matter what the issue was.  When the adoption my husband and I were waiting on did not go through they were there to support me through it.  When I was getting ready to move to Arizona we had the final meeting that I would be able to attend.  I was teaching the study and was finishing up the book we were reading.  Instead I found we were having a farewell party.  I received a quilt with patches from the teachers at the school I worked at.  This was a tradition for retiring teachers which I was not.  I still have my quilt and pull it out from time to time when I need strength or guidance.  I look at the individual squares and think “what would she do?”  I love my quilt as I love all the ladies in that group.

What made this group so tough to leave was the friendships I built, the trust I had in them, and the growth that we had all made personally and professionally.  I would consider this a high-performing group.  We would set goals for ourselves and work with each other to meet them.  We had clearly established norms that we all maintained.  High performing groups are hard to leave because of all the accomplishments and contacts that you make.  These contacts you can use for future projects.

I am guessing that the adjourning phase of our group will be one that cannot be avoided.  Our departure will be full of well wishes on our blogs and we will silently go on our new journey.  We have shared our struggles and ideas with each other.  Though we have never met face to face we have an idea of what each other is like.  We all have a story to tell and a path to guide.  So I will say farewell, good luck, and strength be with you all.  We have made our own quilt here through our blog; we can pull up our blog and ask “what would she do?” 

It's the Parents fault- It's the Schools fault

Conflict Resolution

The conflict I chose to discuss was a situation with a parent and their child and the school personnel.  The child, who we will call L, is in constant trouble.  She has more energy than five children put together and has little to no impulse control.  With that said she can get herself into a large amount of trouble by not following the rules.  She has maxed out her chances with the schools discipline policy.  When her parents were confronted about her behavior they were upset with the school and teacher.  The parents feel that their daughter is just the average everyday child who knows her limits and boundaries.  The parents refuse to see the schools sides or take any steps to help their daughter in school. 

The first step that needs to be taken is opening the lines of communication between the school personnel and the parents.  A meeting will all parties involved needs to happen in order to help L.   In this meeting it is important to remember to attack the problem not the individuals (http://www.crnhq.org).  Also during this meeting each side needs to listen to the other.  The school personnel need to put themselves in the shoes of the parents and vice versa.  When each side has the perspective of the other then real communication can take place.  While each side is speaking the listener needs to go through these steps as laid out by the Conflict Resolution Network (http://www.crnhq.org):

• DON'T DEFEND yourself at this point. It will inflame them further.
• DEAL FIRST WITH THEIR EMOTIONS - People shout because they don't think they are being heard. Make sure they know they are - that you are hearing how angry or upset they are. Label accurately the emotions/feelings as you perceive them.
• ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR SIDE - This does not mean you agree with them, only that you are registering their viewpoint e.g. "I can see, if you think that was my attitude, why you are so angry", "I can see why the problem makes you so upset"

Once those steps have been taken moving towards options for change or a solution can start.  The team needs to work together to come up with a workable solution or plan.

Reference

Conflict Resolution Network.  (n.d.)  Retrieved from http://www.crnhq.org.